paperwork, calories and...I AM UNDONE!

I know my old co-worker is no longer working, so you'd think I would have nothing left to complain about...HAHA! Think again. I have to put all my work on hold, and give the assistant manager my assistance by editing and finding the mistakes in her paperwork. It takes almost my entire shift to finish one client's file...aye. Anyway, there's bigger things in life, so what does it really matter?

I never realized how easy it is to eat a lot of calories when you go to fast food places. I knew the food there wasn't good for you, but...I'm speechless! At Wendy's I got a plain spicy chicken fillet, caesar side salad and a medium french fry and it was 1220 calories! That's some people's entire caloric intake for their whole day!

There is something a little more personal that I want to share, but I must preface it with this: I like me. I'm a good guy and proud of who I am. Those comments do not in any way conflict with the following:) There have been about four times in the past 2 weeks where my soul has just screamed out, "I am undone!" See, there are times in our lives where this happens...times where we experience the reality of our sins, the wrongs we committed and a renewed understanding of what wicked things lie in our hearts. Usually we realize this wickedness when it comes out in something we say, do or even think. However, it is not always apparent to others...and that is dangerous because then we lack the accountability or maybe even the drive to change it. This is why it is so important for us to be changed by the Holy Spirit and not just by trying to change into who we want to be by our own will power. Hear me out, both are important. As much good as we can do by changing into the person we want to be, we cannot get into the depths of our hearts and transform our soul. It's not even our job. That comes by fellowship with the Holy Spirit and constantly beholding the face of God. A lot of times we have to fight through a lot of crap in our lives to get to the point where we can do that, but it's worth it. So as I cling on to and strengthen my relationship with God. I put my hands to the till in order to repent well and to do what I can to pursue holiness. One final thought: It strikes me funny (in the not funny kind of way) how Christians can see this whole process that I have described as something to be ashamed of and embarassed by. There is a feeling of "there's something wrong with Matt." In my limited experience on this earth, I have found that one of the most godly acts a man or woman of faith can do is to repent. the irony is that to be godly (repent) you must first be ungodly (reason to repent). "Luckily" we're all in the same boat on that one, and it's up to us to decide if we will grow through the process or avoid the process. It's humbling, painful, yet rejuvenating. I'm not sure if I will be able to do it or not. I hope I do.