MY JOB

OK. First of all, I need a new job. I don’t know if I have had two seconds to breathe during the past three months, and yet my coworkers (making the same as I, mind you) are sitting down watching tv or making up things to do so that they give the illusion of being busy. I am actually more insulted that they think they can fool me by false hustle than if they just admitted to me that they just bombed on the shift and didn’t do anything. Don’t insult me by thinking you can fool me. I am smarter than that! It’s the acknowledgement that I would like. [Note to my fellow staff: I’m not delusional and I do not work well with fellow employees who are. Stop thinking…you know what? I’ll stop my sentence there. I was going to say stop thinking you have “sooo” much work you do. Stop thinking you can fool me. But I can’t say “stop thinking.” If, by the grace of God, you could start thinking…even the slightest bit…even if it’s to come up with a better lie as to why you aren’t working, kudos! I’d appreciate it.] I cannot even begin to wrap my head around how some people in my field think. From management on down, they don’t make sense. I don’t know if they even try to. I would love to get into tons of specifics, but I cannot for I would be here all day…I wish I were kidding! Management does not develop the weaker workers, and instead they actually pander to them and make their life easier. Management will appease the stronger workers by letting them complain, but nothing ever happens in the long run to get the problems solved. Whether the weaker workers endanger clients (this happens many times in many different forms by both of our stellar girl workers) or they just can’t seem to do the job well…NOTHING happens. Steal hours? No problem. Steal money? Oh well, next time take more! Can’t work today? That’s OK, I have two workers that will do your work for you anyway! I’m open to criticism, but it’s at the point where if the management says something to me after they let all this other stuff go with these other workers, I may lose it. One person I work with has so little judgment that she has actually become a liability in the house and to the program. She shouldn’t be there. The other girl can do a little, but she is about as honest as a long nosed Pinocchio. She is deceitful down to her very core. I don’t like to talk about people this way, but in fact, I am understating my point. Half the people I work with should be either institutionalized or at the very least be put up for consideration for the next open room in the house. In case you didn’t know, I work at a mental health group home. I’m not a big shot, but if myself and the other guy who works there quit, then the management would have to double each of the time to just get by. Maybe it’s not managements fault, maybe these other workers cannot be developed, but if not, then why the heck do they still have a job?! Hire some Mexican guy. He may not speak English, and he may not know what he’s doing, but he’ll give you his best effort. In my field, you cannot give merit wages because then if other workers find out about one person getting a raise they’ll wonder and complain about why they didn’t get one. I say, GOOD! Maybe then we’ll get into some useful discussions around how lazy and/or inept you are! Phew, not that I didn’t mean what I said, but that was not very nice, so I apologize. I don’t feel bad enough to go back and delete this paragraph, but enough to write these last couple of sentences.

One last thing. What I have mentioned are staff problems. Keep in mind that I work at a mental health group home with people who have psychotic problems. I was yelled at three times in the past two days, people saying I am a hateful human being. I am full of hate. I don’t do anything to help them. I just care about making their life miserable (yeah, I have nothing better to do with my life than have verbal battles with mentally ill clients, get verbally assaulted and abused by them, and my hands are tied as to what I can say back). I just work there for the money (HAHAHA, yeah right!). I am sure if you read the above paragraph, you may tend to agree with these clients about my level of compassion and love. It was not necessarily evidenced in how I talked about my fellow employees. However, anyone who knows me would vouch that I am a warm, gentle, compassionate and caring person. I know some of these people are delusional, so I should expect it right? Well, the difficulty is that some of the staff doesn’t work on treatment with the clients, and instead they leave that “hard stuff” to the “guys” and just buddy up to the clients. So Matt or ______ is the bad guy. I don’t think I generally care what most people think of me. However, it gets tiring. Now, someone could say, “Matt find another job. After all, you seemingly have these skills and ability to do so much more.” Thanks for the compliment…and I agree. However, I cannot seem to find that something else.